Morphe Palette's (worth the hype?!)

Now before I get into this, I just want to start off by saying that this is my own opinion and you can feel free to choose your own...

I'm just like any other typical, normal girl with a need for make up. I get this weird urge like I need it. Even if I don't, my alter ego takes over and hits the purchase button. Well, I know morphe has been trending like crazy and I wanted to jump on that band wagon. I mean for the price, who wouldn't?!

Well, this is where my story begins. I was recently watching a youtube video because I stalk the shit out of beautiful girls on the internet who tell me which make up to buy, who else is with me on this?? When I found a video on a tutorial I liked, she was of course using the morphe 350 palette, which everyone knows is a bitch to get your hands on. So I went with the 35W palette. Seemed like more of a palette that I tend to go towards so I figured it would be a perfect staple in my palette museum. $19.99 is all that bad boy cost me. I hit that purchase button and wished like hell it would appear in my mailbox overnight. The one downside to online shopping.... anticipation. I anxiously awaited the arrival of my new beauty, I tracked my shipping like a hawk. Then finally, it was out for delivery. I could smell the mailman coming up my street. Before he could put it in my mailbox I ripped it from his little mailman hands, ran inside (heavily breathing), ripped open the box... yes your palette, or at least mine came in a box, and instantly swatched every single eyeshadow until my arm looked like a bob ross piece. The colors were beautiful, I couldn't wait to put them on my eyes. I also decided to buy a few eyeshadow brushes from them as well, which thats a whole nother story.

The next day I pulled open the palette and got to work. You know when you get a new palette and you cant decide which one to wear or which ones go well with another, so you just use all of them. Yeah, that pretty much happened to me haha. They went on very great, I did however notice a few went on a bit choppy and the purple/burgundy colors weren't as pigmented as I'd hope. Also, these eyeshadows had a horrible smell. I don't know if I got a bad batch, but they smelled very plastic-y and like chemicals. Which isn't to big of a deal considering they are going on my eyes so I'm not really smelling them throughout the day.

When I was blending the eyeshadow my eye became really sensitive, almost like a burning sensation. I thought it may have been the brushes I was using and that the hair may have been to rough. So I switched brushes and the feeling was still there. I bared through the pain, because beauty is pain or pain is beauty, however you say that gay romeo and juliet bullshit.

I then applied my eyeliner, mascara, etc. and was finally finished. The burning feeling was still there and at this point it was almost unbearable. As I was finishing up my hair I noticed my eyes were extremely red and starting to get puffy. I knew it had to of been from the eyeshadow because everything else I have used before. Once I rinsed off my masterpiece, that took me all damn day to do, my eyes looked like someone had stabbed them with forks. It burned so bad that I had to put eye drops and a cold rag over them to ease the pain. Now, I'm not sensitive to anything. My skin puts up a good fight, but this time the eyeshadow won. I have no idea what those eyeshadows are made out of, but itching powder and cayenne pepper may be a few.

I was sooooo upset. Everybody loves these palettes, howcome it didn't work out for me? If this happened to you, I would like to know so I can share my pain with you. I guess cheap palettes and my eyes don't go hand in hand.

                                          

I am now bald - My horrible eyelash extension story

If you are anything like me then my biggest dream is to wake up and say "I woke up like dis" and actually not look like I got hit by a freight train. I'm sure Beyonce's weave doesn't stick in place all night long. Sometimes my hair falls out and I wake up thinking I slept with a woman when in fact my extensions made a new home on my mans head. Anyways, I got it in my mind that it would be such a stress relief to wake up and have my eyelashes gorgeous. More so I wanted to look beautiful with my eyes closed to remind  my husband how lucky he is. So I do a ton of research, 50% was positive reviews and 50% was pretty negative. I thought, well it's either going to go good for me or it's going to be awful. Guess which one it was?! You're right, they were the worst thing ever created. Whoever thought this shit was a good idea needs to be sitting in hell next to Hitler. If your sensitive to that comment then move on.....
It was the weekend of my 25th birthday, which I wasn't excited about, so I thought I would give myself a birthday present. I made my appointment and couldn't of been more nervous. The thought of sitting there with my eyes taped down was a bit nerve wrecking. Anywho, I sucked it up and walked in there butt face naked, laid down on the table and awaited the arrival of my new beautiful eyelashes.
First off, the lady who did my eyelashes was so rough, I almost cried. Then she must of just got done eating lunch because it smelled so damn bad, she should of taped my nostrils down too. And she kept asking me over and over what I wanted. I kept telling her I want them full and long. She looked at me like I was a moron. Bitch I just want fucking long beautiful, thick, flutterly, fake fucking lashes.... Geez. An hour later we picked some shit that I prayed was gonna look good in the end. This shit took 2 and a half hours to install, no lie. I had to piss so bad that I kept moving one leg over the other. She then asked if I was uncomfortable and I simply said yes, I'm trying to concentrate on not pissing on your table. Guess what happened next?! She grabbed my hand, mind you my eyes are still taped down to my cheek and said come on, I help you. Ummmm you help me do what? Bitch, you are not about to help me piss. No thanks I said, I will hold it. Awkward, right?!
Finally, I am done. She rips, literally rips that fucking tape off, I'm sure my skin went with it. I felt my eyes tear up, so I ran to the bathroom, god she is sooo mean. I was terrified to look in the mirror. They literally felt so heavy, like I shaved a cat and glued the hair to my eye kind of feeling.
I nutted up and glanced in the mirror. And what I saw was that moment "I woke up like dis" kind of feeling. I was sooo happy. Then I got to the counter. That will be 150.00. Ummm bitch, 150 what? Tears? Cause I can scoop that shit off your bathroom floor after what I just went through.
She looked at me like I was crazy, which at this point I was. All red eyed and emotional. I mean why that much? Was that shit made from panda hair, I don't get it.( That wasn't an Asian joke, I heard it from a movie and I use it quite often. )
Well you got the hair, the glue, the labor... all 150.00. Ok, well for that much I should of just bought the fake shit and super glued it down.
After she ripped my credit card from my cold hands, I walked out with buyers remorse. What have I done. Although they were beautiful, I felt that was a bit overpriced.
I got home and my husband thought they were awesome. So I took a million selfies all looking down and felt like a beautiful goddess. Well, I went to bed. Woke up and looked in the mirror, my eyelashes looked like they all got drunk and passed out on each other. I looked so ratchet. WTF do I do??? So I combed them like she told me to and that seemed to help but they never really sat back in place. Then they fell out like crazy. I can't tell you how many times I ate that shitty, not panda hair, eyelashes. They fell into my food, on my chest, my cheek, my pillow, my husbands dick... they were fucking everywhere. How the hell do people do this shit, I had a gap between the hairs, ohhh it was so terrible. So now that it looked like my eyes were giving the peace sign to everyone I decided I wanted them out. I googled "how to remove eyelash extensions" I found that it was really simple, thank god. hahahaha nothing is easy with these fuckers.

step 1: put your face in a pot of boiling water
step 2: wait until your face melts off
step 3: put oil on your eyelashes but avoid your eye... wtf
step 4: get oil in your eyes
step 5: cry
step 6: wipe off the eyelashes
step 7: rip out your eyelashes with your fingers because step 6 was bullshit
step 8: cry
step 9: cry harder
step 10: brace yourself

That was the most painful thing I ever experienced in my life. I looked in the mirror and I was horrified. All my eyelashes were gone!!! I gave someone 150 dollars to take my eyelashes from me. I felt betrayed, and vulnerable. How could they do that to me, how could I do that to myself. I wouldn't let my husband look at me for a week.

Needless to say, I am still wearing falsies, not only do I prefer them, but it doesn't damage my natural lash. Or leave you with nightmares....