Thanks Halls... Just What I Needed

I never thought I would get advice from a cough drop... but here we are!

Lot's of shit has happened over the course of the past few weeks and today has topped the cake. From having a sick baby, bills due, husband leaving out of town and having a pain in the ass boss... well I've just about had enough. Then BAM! I woke up today with a sore throat and a nasty cough. Went and grabbed some halls cough drops and I wasn't disappointed. Honestly, I never really look at the cough drop while I'm unwrapping it but for some reason I felt compelled to look at this one. "Keep your chin up" is what I read, and I thought, is this a sign? Signs come in all forms and mine just so happened to be wrapped up in my pocket. When the hell did halls start becoming therapists? I somehow feel like I should write halls and tell them thank you for lifting my spirits after such a crappy few weeks. 4 little words had brighten my day and now I'm kind of happy that I don't feel good. Who would of thought... thanks for the cold!

Do you have a scratchy throat or a cough that won’t quit? Want something sugar free? Need something to boost your immune system?  http://www.gethalls.com/products.aspx

Getting pregnant with Endometriosis

Endometriosis - Endometriosis is a female health disorder that occurs when cells from the lining of the womb (uterus) grow in other areas of the body. This can lead to pain, irregular bleeding, and problems getting pregnant (infertility)

^^ Story of my life!!

Let me just say to any woman out there that suffers with this horrible disease that I commend you! Endometriosis has put so many things in my life on hold and one of those was the ability to get pregnant. It's almost every woman's dream to grow up, be successful, get married and create a family. For some, this dream gets put to the side.. and not by choice. As far as I can remember my periods had always been painful! I would curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out until that week was over and then it was the same thing the next cycle. I couldn't understand why it hurt so bad. I knew cramps were normal but this pain was way beyond anything I had ever felt. When I was 21 I had enough of this pain and finally wanted some answers. I went doctor to doctor and nobody could figure out what was going on. I had doctors tell me that it was my colon causing pain, my appendix may need to come out, or I could just be having really bad menstrual cramps. I knew I wasn't crazy, I felt deep down in my burning uterus that something was wrong! Finally after doing much research I decided to reach out to a gynecologist to see if I had something going on with my ovaries because I had history of ovarian cysts. I had my appointment and he tells me that this sounds like a case of endometriosis. Now, I had no idea what that ment or what it was but that word freaked me out. He explained what it was and that the only way to find out if I had a case of it was to do a laparoscopy. Another word that scared the shit out of me. So I said what the hell, schedule the surgery and lets see what happens, thinking to myself that this was another miss and I would be left not knowing what this pain really was. I remember it like it was yesterday. January 17th 2012 at 7AM I was going in to get cut open and a little camera was going to determine what I dreaded. I got wheeled back and the last thing I remember was the doctor saying "lets pray for a beautiful outcome". I woke up shortly after in severe pain. My belly hurt, my back hurt, and my collar bones hurt (due to the gas that they have to put in for your belly to expand so the camera can see better). I was sitting there in pain anxiously waiting the news. My husband and dad came through the door with worried looks on their faces and right then I knew my life was forever changed. The doctor came in and showed us that the endometriosis had completely taken over my right ovary as well as the whole underside of my uterus. What does this mean? Does it come back? Do I need to live life differently? these were the questions flowing through my mind. I was so scared, lost and confused. I couldn't believe that I had something that every woman fears. I felt strong and confident that I could be fine living with this until he said "unfortunately, this causes infertility" I could feel the tears hiding behind my eyes, with anger in my heart I had no idea what to do or say. I never really thought about kids, I was only 21, my life was just starting. Right then I was so afraid my husband might leave me if I wasn't able to give him a family. I had something taken from me that I didn't even know that I wanted. Well, I didn't put much thought into trying for a family, I just went about my normal days. My period after the surgery was amazing... for about a year. Then the pain was right back and I was FURIOUS! My doctor had a guess that it would come back in 4-5 years. I went and say my gynecologist and she gave me 3 choices. Do another surgery, try and get pregnant now, or get a hysterectomy. WOW, here I am 22 years old and I am faced with a decision I never thought I would have to make on impulse. Me and my husband talked about it and we decided that we loved each other and we would make it work if we tried for a baby right now. So we tried and tried and every month was another let down. I was afraid that if we went on for to long with no success that I would forced to having another surgery. I was so upset, I knew I was never going to get what I really wanted. 6 months turned into a year and I lost hope. I went to my doctor and told her I couldn't do it and maybe surgery is whats best. Then november 2013 I noticed I was late... I had one pregnancy test left and I thought what the hell lets just see. I peed on the stick and walked away, actually forgetting that I took the test I started doing chores around the home. After about an hour I remembered the news of my future was sitting in the bathroom. I walked up to the stick and took a deep breath... there was a beautiful + sign, immediately I cried. I was so excited, scared and happy. I couldn't wait to share the news with my husband. I handed him the stick because I was speechless and he was soooo excited. After all that time I finally got what we wanted. Now, my biggest concern was a miscarriage. I didn't care if I was on bed rest and ended up with a c-section, as long as I was able to carry this baby to full term. Well 1 month turned into 2 and 2 turned into 9! I carried my beautiful baby for 39 weeks with no complications. There is light at the end of the tunnel for most. This is a horrible thing to have to live with and unfortunately my endometriosis is right back. But for those 9 months I was the most grateful human being alive. The battle begins again...

Postpartum Depression.. is this normal?

Having a baby is the most rewarding moment in any woman's life, but with joy can also come sadness and it calls itself Postpartum Depression. Have you ever been on a diet and you were doing so good and then somebody offers you a donut and eat it with a smile on your face and then immediately after you feel horrible? Postpartum is kind of like that. You create and carry this amazing little human and with every power in your body you deliver your beautiful baby and everything is perfect, but you feel don't feel that way. It could be numerous of things, your baby is no longer inside of your belly and is exposed to everybody instead of only you. It could be because your body feels so out of place and your womanly figure is out of whack. Or it could simply be because you feel your partner is focusing more on the new baby than you. Whatever it may be don't worry it's normal and your not sick or wrong for having these feelings. I can say that because I went through the same experience and let me just say, that it does get better. Once my daughter was born I was overwhelmed with excitement as well as fear. I was worried that I may not be able to offer everything that she may need and I was always told that I was the selfish and independent type. I knew that right then my life would be completely different and I didn't know how to handle it. I found myself looking at my baby that I loved so much and would just cry, for no reason. The loss of sleep, the pain your body is in, and the constant need your baby needs was so new to me and all I wanted to do was lock myself in an empty room. This feeling started as soon as I brought my baby girl home from the hospital, when it was just me,  her and my husband. Everything felt so lost around me, I couldn't even brush my teeth without hearing her cry in the other room. I felt as if I were doing something wrong, like I was a horrible mother. But now I realize that babies are just going to cry, even if they have been fed, changed and bathed. It took almost 6 weeks for me to get the groove of the new routine and to finally get my happy self back and enjoy the amazing baby that I brought into this world. Looking back at that time where the depression hit me the worst makes me extremely upset to think about. I can't believe I looked at my baby in any other way but with pure love and joy. It happens and it's soooo normal, don't ever feel like your alone because it happens to even the most put together person. If there is any advice that I could offer to help you once your baby comes along or if your going through it now is to keep busy. As if a baby doesn't keep you busy enough!! Do things that you love to do, read a book while he/she is asleep, go on a walk with he/she in the stroller, or take the baby out with your husband and enjoy a dinner. Yes!! I said go out to dinner. I was so scared to take my newborn out with a fear that she would just cry and I would keep the bad mom looks. Well, I didn't! And I'm so happy I did it because having a baby doesn't mean you don't deserve to treat yourself, after all, you are the one who put in all the hard work to deliver your baby. Have your parents or a good friend or relative watch your baby while you go do something. Your not awful if you need a break, and chances are that your friends and family are more than excited to watch the little one. Keep your head up and know things WILL get better.

Giving Birth (Better than I expected)

Birth, for most that word is beyond the most terrifying word in the English language, at least for me it was. It's true when they say you can't scare a pregnant woman because delivering a child into this world ain't got nothing on what you could do or say to her. This was me, being truly excited about being pregnant once I saw the positive sign on that stick and then the range of emotions kicked in and I needed guidance and some sort of advice to help me feel better. Well, if you've even been pregnant woman are compelled to tell you their horrible labor stories. "I was in labor for 36 hours and ended up having a C-section" "The epidural only numbed part of my body and I could feel everything else" "I pooped all over the doctor while pushing" blah blah blah. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about! We have all been there, researching over and over and trying to be as prepared as possible when that amazing day came when your child would finally be in your arms. Shout out to my first time moms because I know what your going through is scary and you don't know what to expect. I'm here to give a little relief and share my experience as a first time mom, enjoy :)

My last OB/GYN  visit my doctor checked me (38 weeks) and I was not dilated but was 70% effaced. Effaced? what the hell does that mean? My first thought was, I'm going to be pregnant til I'm like 45 weeks pregnant!! I went home and told my husband what the doctor said and he told me that that baby will be here when she is good and ready, which didn't help because I was way over good and ready for her to be here. July 29th was any other day to me, I was 39 weeks pregnant and like any other woman at 9 months was praying for this baby to finally come. I had been experiencing heavier discharge for about a week, roughly when my doctor had checked me last but I didn't see it as a concern. The morning of the 29th I noticed the discharge was a bit heavier and was praying I would experience my "Bloody Show" but I never did. I went to work and worked a full day and as I got home I noticed my panties had been more soaked than normal. Concerned, my husband called the doctor and they advised us to just come get checked. At this point I told him that we didn't need to go, I'm fine and I don't want to waste my night getting my hopes up. I gave in and half ass packed the diaper bag and threw random stuff in the hospital bag, knowing I would be coming right back home. We drove to the hospital around 5PM where they stuck me in triage and took a vaginal sample from me and told me this would be determining if I would be staying or leaving. Let me just say that the minutes felt like hours waiting for these results, I've never been so nervous in my life!! Then the nurse pulled the curtain back and said "Are you ready to have this baby?". I was in shock, and instantly felt the emotions of happy, sad, confused, and extremely scared. All the scary stories I heard were about to come true. I was wheeled into a delivery room and they instantly started me on pitocin at 7PM. At this point I was 1 1/5 CM dilated and still 70% effaced. My husband made sure I was comfortable and had everything I needed so that he could leave and drop our dog off at my moms and bring some last minute things that I had carelessly forgot to pack. As I was laying there in the hospital bed around 9PM my water broke! And let me just tell you that it's not that bad, I heard a pop sound and then a gush of water, nothing disgusting and the nurse was so sweet when she came to help me clean it up. After my water popped they upped my pitocin and the contractions really started to come on. I called my husband and told him I needed him immediately before they got extremely intense and I didn't want to experience this on my own. 10 minutes later my husband burst through the door and was by my side with anything that I needed. Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat this part, the contractions hurt like a motherfucker! This could be because I was on a high dose of pitocin and my contractions were literally on top of eachother, I didn't even have to time to catch my breath before another one hit. By 11:00 PM my mom showed up because I was having her in the room when I delivered and by then I was in alot of pain. However, I never screamed or gave out a loud cry, It was like I knew I did this to myself and that I had to deal with the consequence. It didn't help that the lady in the room next to me was delivering and she was screaming bloody murder!! She had me and my entire family on edge. By midnight my body was shaking uncontrollably and I yelled at my husband "get me the drugs". Immediately he went out and told the nurse I was ready for that epidural. Now I remember hearing that it could take the doctor hours before he would come in and give you your epidural so I knew I would be waiting. Not even ten minutes later that beautiful man walked in and I swear I could hear angels sing, I never been more  happy in my life! He had me sit down and the end of the bed, hunched over, my husband holding one hand and the nurse holding the other. This by far was the easiest part of labor, it took 2 minutes to get that bad boy and almost immediately I felt relief. They checked me again and I was 4 CM dilated. Then they put my catheter in and that was the most uncomfortable part for me, once she inserted it in I swear I could feel the pressure of the catheter and I did not like it. But I had enough relief that I was able to fall asleep. 4AM came and I had this weird feeling like I should be checked, I asked the nurse if she would check me and she said are you sure? we checked you a bit ago and you were only at a 4. I said yes please and as soon as she pulled the blankets down there was blood and I was dilated to a 10!!! She immediately went to get my doctor and he came in and said "ready to push?". Was I ready? I waited 9 months to meet her and this is it, it's finally happening. They prepared the room and I did a few practice pushes and it went great. I pushed like I was an expert. It comes so natural and it's like you know exactly what to do and how to do it. I didn't even need the nurse to tell me when to push and for how long, I could do it all by myself. I pushed and pushed and my daughter was coming out sideways so I was having a bit of trouble getting her down the canal. I heard the doctor say we need to get this baby out now and at that moment I knew I was getting what I feared most, C-Section. I pushed like a crazy maniac and told myself I can do this, I don't need a c-section. I pushed for 2 hours at this point and you could barely see her head. My epidural wore off and they stopped the medicine so that I could feel me pushing, which helped me a lot. By 6:00AM my doctor called in for another doctor and I ended up needing forceps to help me get her out. Now, this scared the shit out of me! But lo and behold they used those amazing tools and I had my daughter out after three pushes. Delivered at 7:15AM 8lbs 1oz and 21.5 inches long! No wonder why it took so long, she was huge! My poor vagina is all I thought until she landed on my chest and she was beautiful! No markings or bruises from the forceps and her head was perfectly round. They did have to cut me to help get her out but it was worth it. My experience as a first time mom did have it's scary moments but it went fast and not as painful as I had anticipated. What I'm trying to say is every delivery is different and you never know how things could end up. Even though you're scared, it is the biggest accomplishment feeling that anyone could ever feel. Every time I look at my daughter I think wow, I can't believe I did that. And you will too :)